Love/Hate

Here are some things I love about blogging. I get to think. I'm a lot like my dad. I like to think and I love to write. I don't know if he likes to write. But I do. So I get to write and I know that people will read it. Sometimes they even like what I write. Or they challenge me and get me to think more clearly or fine tune my thinking. These are good things.

Here is the one thing I hate. Once I push the "Publish" button I feel like I'm back in college in a class (as a student). I just stood up to give an oral presentation and discovered I'm not wearing any pants. Now, please, my readers, do not go too far with that mental image. But I'm trying to deal with that tension.

I think this is what it stems from. Many of you know LightBoy. You may have noticed that he has a certain tendency to let whatever thoughts that are in his head come out of his mouth with great enthusiasm. Yes ... well ... never let it be said that apples fall far from trees. And when I was a child those traits were much less tolerable than they are today, especially in little girls. My grandfather was fond of fixing me with his steely blue eyes, and very sternly saying, "Children should be seen and not heard." repeatedly.

So it comes as a great surprise to me that the words I write are not constantly offensive to almost everyone. Except LightHusband; he is biased and I pay him off. But ... still ... everytime I push the "Publish Post" button, I feel as tho I'm out waving in the wind, waiting for someone to take shots at me. But I love to write ... But I hate to publish. Love ... Hate. Unbearable tension.

So you may have noticed that I created a psuedonym for myself. I may change it. Right now it's Celtic and means The Lady of Light. That seemed sort of fitting. I'll see how it feels for a few days. I may change it to something else, or decide that I'm just being terribly silly afterall.